10 Puns

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
 

Reading this

The moment that you read this has been in the future for billions of years, and now it'll be in the past for the rest of time.

Flat Earth

How do we know the earth isn't flat? 

If it were flat, cats would have already pushed everything off of it.

Glass

People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full miss the point.  The glass is refillable.

Distance

Distance doesn't separate people .... Silence does.

     ~  Jeff Hood  ~

Car Sickness

Car sickness: 

The feeling you get when the car payment is due.

Worrying

Worrying works! 

90% of the things I worry about never happen.  

Bed

Bed is the poor man's opera.

    ~  Italian proverb  ~

History

One of the lessons of history is that Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

      ~  Will Durant  ~

Rules

People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.