New Year Eves 2022

 

I love when they drop the ball in Times Square.

It's a nice reminder of what I did all year.

Christmas Book Gifts

To everyone that received a book from me for Christmas, they are due back at the library next Friday. 

Merry Christmas - 2022

Luminaries 2022

 

Boiled Egg

 

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. 

Friendship

Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other. 

    ~   Honor de Balzac  ~     

Kids Today

You gotta feel for kids today, growing up in a world where all the good screen names are already taken.     

Facts

 

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. 

Vessel

The empty vessel makes the greatest sound.

    ~   William Shakespeare  ~   

Bulldozing

Bulldozing:

Falling asleep during a political speech.

Watch

My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.

Morning

 

Life is too complicated in the morning.

Rich Friends

The richer your friends, the more they will cost you.

    ~  Elisabeth Marbury  ~

Thanks

I would like to thank my legs, for supporting me. My arms, for always being at my side and fingers, I could always count on them.     
 

Wise Person

A person is wise if he listens to millions of advice and doesn't implement any of it. 

    ~   Michael Bassey Johnson  ~   

Swims

The word 'swims' upside down is still 'swims'.

Make Ends Meet

Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. 

Diet

Diet:

A brief period of starvation followed by a gain of double the pounds you have lost.

Veterans, we honor you.

Bless Them Abundantly: A Veteran’s Day Prayer Dear Lord, Today we honor our veterans, worthy men and women who gave their best when they were called upon to serve and protect their country. We pray that you will bless them, Lord, for their unselfish service in the continual struggle to preserve our freedoms, our safety, and our country’s heritage, for all of us. Bless them abundantly for the hardships they faced, for the sacrifices they made, for their many different contributions to America’s victories over tyranny and oppression. We respect them, we thank them, we honor them, we are proud of them, and we pray that you will watch over these special people and bless them with peace and happiness. In Jesus’ name we pray; Amen. By Joanna Fuchs

Two Kinds of People

There are two kinds of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

Dogs

Do dogs see police dogs and think 'oh no, it's the cops'?

Nail

The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.

     ~  Japanese proverb  ~

Time

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

Happy Halloween - 2022

How do skeletons relax and get clean?

They take a milk bath.

Think

Think old and you'll be old. 

Think young and you'll be a delusional Old Fart.

Owl

What does a pretentious owl say?

Whom whom.           

Wronged

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.

    ~   Confucius  ~

You

The person that you will spend the most time in your life with is yourself, so better try to make yourself as interesting as possible.

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1n73ll1g3nc3 1s 7h3 4b1l17y 7o 4d4p7 7o ch4ng3.

    ~ 573ph3n H4wk1ng  ~

Rock Group

What rock group has 4 men that don't sing? 

Mount Rushmore.

5 by 5 Rule

5 by 5 Rule

If it's not gonna matter in 5 years, don't spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it.

One's Word

The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.

     ~  Napoleon  ~

Thunderstorm

The only good view of a thunderstorm, is in your rear-view mirror.

10 Puns

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
 

Reading this

The moment that you read this has been in the future for billions of years, and now it'll be in the past for the rest of time.