On the other Hand

On the other hand, you have different fingers. 

    ~  Steven Wright  ~

Yourself

Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. 

The Law of Television Entertainment

 

The Law of Television Entertainment:

As soon as you find a television program that you really like, it will be cancelled.

Simple Philosophy

 

I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty.  Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
 

      ~  Alice Roosevelt Longworth  ~

 

Squats

I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.

Cactus

Why is it so hard to come up with a cactus joke?

Because it is such a thorny problem.

Be Yourself

You can only "be yourself" in public if "yourself" is socially acceptable.