Sausage

Everything has an end ... but a sausage has two.     

To the Store

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

    ~  Erma Bombeck  ~ 

Waiting

If we wait until we're ready, we will be waiting for the rest of our lives.

Wild West

I believe a lot of conflict in the wild west could have been avoided if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.   

Sailing

Sailing:

The fine art of working hard, getting wet, sleeping little and becoming ill, while going nowhere slowly at great expense.

Termite

A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"   

Damage

You will never understand the damage you did to someone until the same thing is done to you. That's why I'm here.

    ~  Karma  ~    

Saying

I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.

    ~  Calvin Coolidge  ~

HOUSEHOLD TIP:

Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.   

Chicken

Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?

Because she mislaid them.