Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Turtles


I bet when a turtle tells a joke to another turtle and he doesn't get it, he goes like "Dude, you're so slow" and they laugh and nap or whatever. 

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Introductions


To the guy who introduced zero:

Thanks for nothing!

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Early Bird


The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

On Earth


"We are put on earth to fart around."  "Don't let anyone tell you any different."

    ~  Vonnegut  ~

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Silence


Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.

    ~  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross   ~

Monday, May 11, 2015

Hot Dog Stand


How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair. 

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Nowlan's Deduction


Follow the path of least resistance is what make men and rivers crooked.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Youth and Age


Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.

    ~  Stanislaw Jerzy Lec  ~

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Disraeli's Second Law


What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Weather


All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.