Hair

Hair: the only real cure for baldness.
 

Calendar

Calendar

 

  Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

 

Politics

Politics:

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.  

Harp

 

Harp: a nude piano

Bowl

Bowl:

A large handle-less cup.

Pareidolia

 

Pareidolia 

 

The perception of apparently significant patterns or recognizable images, especially faces, in random or accidental arrangements of shapes and lines.

Depth

 Depth:

 Height turned upside down.

Jury

 

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.           

Anonymous

Anonymous:

The worlds most popular author. 

    ~ Anonymous  ~

Cat

Cat: 

Pygmy lion who love mice, hates dogs and patronizes humans. 

    ~  Oliver Herford  ~

Education

Education: 

That what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

    ~  Albert Einstein  ~

Cake

Cake:

The answer, no matter the question. 

Clock

Clock:

A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.

Tattoo

Tattoo:

Permanent proof of temporary insanity.

National Park

National Park: 

A primeval wilderness set aside by the government for invasion by armies of rabid vacationers.  

Teenager

Teenager: 

An adolescent whose hang-ups do not include his clothes.

Byrne's Law

Byrne's Law:  In any electrical circuit, appliances and wiring will burn out to protect fuses.

Golf

Golf was invented so that even the man who isn't in politics would have something to lie about.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow: 

The best labor saving device of today. 

Chamberlain's Law

Chamberlain's Law: Everything tastes more or less like chicken.