Young and Old

If you don't do stupid things while you're young, you'll have nothing to laugh about when you're old. 

Gas Stations

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?

Are they afraid someone will clean them?

An Old Teacher

An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

I

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

Help

Help:

Computer feature that assists in generating more questions. When the Help feature is used correctly, users are able to navigate through a series of Help screens, and end up where they started from, without learning one thing.

50-50-90 Rule

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Relativity

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute.
That's relativity.

    ~  Albert Einstein  ~