Happy New Year 2013
- You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's
pets.
- Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your
room to "Stay still."
- Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as
drinking a glass of fresh paint.
- The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and
give it whirl!"
- You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.
- You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with
your toilet.
- You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more
feasible praying in a fetal position.
- Your catch phrase is, "Never again."
- You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the
bottles around your bed.
- Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"
