Adolescence

Adolescence: 

A time in a kid's life when parents become difficult.

    ~  Ryan O'Neal  ~

Mummies

Mummies are just rich zombies!

Teachers

 Ninety eight percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.

Grocery Shopping

My favorite part of grocery shopping is rushing home to look at the shopping list on my counter to see what I forgot to buy. 

Indecisive

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

      ~  W.C. Fields   ~   

Talk/Listen

 

 Knowledge talks, wisdom listens. 

Lite

Lite: 

The new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!  

A Lie

A lie doesn't become truth, wrong doesn't become right, and evil doesn't become good,just because it's accepted by a majority.

Listen

It takes patience to listen.. it takes skill to pretend you're listening.

Command

 What day of the year is a command to go forward?

 March 4th.

Politics

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

    ~  John Kenneth Galbraith  ~