Roman Numerals

 I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in roman numerals. 

 I'm Livid.

Think

 THINK!  (It's not illegal....  YET)

Be Yourself

 

"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to some people.

 

~  Tom Masson  ~     

 

Talking

 

If you see me talking to myself, just move along.

I'm self-employed. We're having a meeting.

Bikers

Bikers:  living proof that you can wear leather and not look sexy.

Ocean Roar

Why does the ocean roar?

You'd roar, too, if you had that many crabs on your bottom.

    ~  Redd Foxx  ~

Work

Work hard in silence. Let success be you noise.

Loose Change

I always throw my loose change into a large vase because my mother always told me, "A penny saved is a penny urned".

Idiots

You don't learn from smart people, you learn from idiots. Watch what they do, and then don't do it.

    ~  Minnesota Fats  ~

Universe

The universe consists of two types of things: "matter" and "doesn't matter".

    ~  Sir Terry Pratchett  ~
 

Book

Every book you have ever read is just a different combination of 26 letters.
 

Squat

 

The fitnesss trainer asked me, "What kind of a squat are you accustomed to doing?" 

I said, "Diddly".

Harp

 

Harp: a nude piano

Finding Guilt

 In this country you're guilty until proven wealthy.

    ~  Bill Maher  ~

Opportunity

 

 

 

Whenever someone tells you, "This is the opportunity of a lifetime." ask if they're referring to your lifetime or theirs.

River Landing Car Show - Colfax, North Carolina

 

Magician

A magician was driving down the road ..... then he turned into a drive way. 

Seashells

I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered along the beaches around the world. Maybe you've seen it.

    ~ Stephen Wright  ~

Just Once

 

Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, "Close enough".
 

Headache Cure

 

When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
 

Be Decisive

 

 

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision.

Greensboro Science Center - Greensboro, North Carolina

 

 

                            Greensboro Science Center

A Fool

 If a fool could keep silent he would not be a fool.

    ~  Swedish Proverb  ~