Loose Change

I always throw my loose change into a large vase because my mother always told me, "A penny saved is a penny urned".

Idiots

You don't learn from smart people, you learn from idiots. Watch what they do, and then don't do it.

    ~  Minnesota Fats  ~

Universe

The universe consists of two types of things: "matter" and "doesn't matter".

    ~  Sir Terry Pratchett  ~
 

Book

Every book you have ever read is just a different combination of 26 letters.
 

Squat

 

The fitnesss trainer asked me, "What kind of a squat are you accustomed to doing?" 

I said, "Diddly".

Harp

 

Harp: a nude piano

Finding Guilt

 In this country you're guilty until proven wealthy.

    ~  Bill Maher  ~